“Edward“‘s got nothing on “Dracula;” Robert Pattinson’s got nothing on Bela Lugosi!!! O.V.
Dear Twilight,
I am writing you in order to ask that you please discontinue fucking with my genealogy. I realise you have had a successful run this year, and, as a filmmaker, I congratulate you. However, I can no longer search for long-lost relatives on social networks such as Facebook and Twitter. In addition, I can no longer meet people in public without the likely occurrence of someone asking me to bite them (not that I’m complaining if the person in question is an attractive female). If you wish to know what the life of a true Cullen is like, please feel free to contact me. In the meantime, I would appreciate it immensely if you would stop tainting my family’s crest. Thank you.
Best regards,
Sean N. Cullen